


morphine, queen of my vaccine

by orphan_account



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Succubi & Incubi, Anal Fingering, Angst, Awkward Sexual Situations, F/M, Genderfluid Character, Genderfluid Sherlock, Genderqueer Character, Humor, M/M, Masturbation, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Other, Succubi & Incubi, i dont know how succubi and incubi work but thats literally what the whole fic is about, nervous succubus, not really but like whatever, only a little angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-25
Updated: 2014-09-25
Packaged: 2018-02-18 17:32:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2356691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"so you're like a succubus," john says to the fidgety, blushing creature dressed in black.<br/>"well," it pauses, bites its lip. "yes." its eyes dart. they're red. "i mean, most of the time."</p>
            </blockquote>





	morphine, queen of my vaccine

**Author's Note:**

> i'm still awful at formatting so i apologize for that. also i wrote this in about 45 minutes with help from my friend mace (buttfreckles on tumblr) for a few lines and the idea for the fic in the first place. thanks bab. love ya.

John comes home one day to find a thin, flushed man laying on his bed. 

This is not the norm. 

Please believe him when he says this is not the norm.

\--

"So you're like a succubus," John says to the fidgety, blushing creature dressed in black. 

"Well," it pauses, bites its lip. "yes." it's eyes dart. they're red. "I mean, most of the time."

"Most of the time," John notes. 

"Sometimes i identify as neither male or female."

John's mind spins, "So you're an incubus?"

"No, that word is hideous." the succubus grimaces. "I prefer succubus, though my anatomy is completely male." He glances downwards, grumbles, "though that statement in itself is transphobic. Disgusting."

John maintains his stance in the center of the room, hands clenching and unclenching into fists. The succubus remains spread out on his bed. 

"So," john says, uncomfortable, "I'm to have sex with you?"

"Well, technically yes. However," the succubus pauses, "I don't believe in non-consensual sex and as you are firmly planted in your," it raises air quotes and puts on a nasal voice, "'heterosexuality', you don't HAVE to." It glances at its fingernails, "however, if you don't, I'm stuck here." It then glances at it's surroundings, "not that i'm complaining. Your mattress is very comfortable. Not every day that I get stuck with someone who actually cares about proper spinal alignment."

\-- 

**FEBRUARY 7TH 2010**

So, I have a new flatmate, I suppose. His name is Sherlock. 

So THERE, Ella. Something happened to me.

 

**Comments**

Spot-on description, John. 

**Sherlock Holmes**

I have to agree with your flatmate, John. A bit more detail next time. 

**Ella Thompson**

\--

"Would you rather I tell everyone what you're doing right now than not tell them anything at all?" John sighs. 

Sherlock glances up at John. His right hand moves deftly along his cock. Speeds up a bit. A shiver wracks through his body. 

"You're addressing me as 'he' now, then?" Sherlock mentions, voice flat though his cock is twitching in his hold. 

"Well, yes. Do you prefer 'it'?"

"'She' would be nice." Sherlock grumbles, grip tightening on his erection. 

"Then everyone will think you're my girlfriend." John points out. 

Sherlock throws himself up from his seat on John's bed, cock bouncing up and down. John's eyes are drawn to the bead of precum at the tip. "And that's not what I am at all, is it?"

Sherlock proceeds to storm off to the bathroom where has a loud, explicit orgasm. 

\--

The problem with living with a succubus is that their sex drive never tires. 

Never. 

It is two in the morning when John hears a small moan from the opposite side of the bed. 

"Are you serious?" 

Sherlock moans in response. 

"No, like, seriously. Stop."

Slick sounds meet his ears. 

"Are you fucking yourself?"

Sherlock lets out an indecent whimper. The sounds speed up. 

"How many fingers do you have inside of you?"

"Three."

John takes a plunge,

"Good girl."

\--

They don't talk about it in the morning. 

Sherlock stays curled in a ball, her hair mussed and her side of the bed smelling like sex. 

John makes french toast but she doesn't eat it. 

Then he goes to work. 

\--

The atmosphere in the flat when he arrives home is different. Hazy, distinctly heated. 

Sherlock is still curled in a ball. 

"Sherlock," John calls. As he slips forward the heat grows stronger. It seems to be radiating directly from her. "Sherlock, what's going on?"

"I'm going to die, John," comes a little voice under the blankets. 

"What? Why?" 

She rolls over, cheeks flushed, eyelids hooded. She looks wrecked. "I'm a fucking succubus who's been trying to live off masturbation for the past month. It's just not working anymore."

"So you're- you're dying because you haven't gotten fucked?"

She glares at him, "Yes, if you want to be vulgar about it."

John ignores that, "So, if I don't fuck you, you'll die."

Sherlock shuts her eyes, bites her lip. Nods. 

"I'm bisexual," John comments. 

A slow, lazy grin breaks out across Sherlock's face. 

\--

"Okay, so," John is between Sherlock's legs and it's overwhelming to say the least. "Spread a bit more?"

She does, smiling a condescending smile at John that makes him want to punch her. Or just fuck her really hard. 

He pulls her thighs up so that her arse is against his knees, spreads her legs. 

She hands him the lube with a shy smile and he takes it, opening the cap and putting some on his fingers. 

"I've never-"

"Obvious. I'm still enjoying it. Keep going."

John presses a finger into her, feeling the burn and clench of her insides. She's so hot. He wants her. 

"I want you," he vocalizes. 

Sherlock smiles. "Okay, get to it."

John pistons his fingers in and out until she's open enough for him, an easy task. She's a succubus. 

He presses in and is immediately welcomed by her body. She wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him in for a scorching kiss. "That's it," she says against his lips. 

John thrusts shallowly, afraid that he may come any second. 

Sherlock moans as he speeds up, cries out when he slips his fingers into her hair and pulls, she is gorgeous. 

John pants, "Sherlock, Sherlock," as he comes. 

Sherlock shakes and shudders out her orgasm, presses her lips to John's neck. 

Then fades away. 

\--

John spends the next week searching for Sherlock Holmes. A Sherlock Holmes who is not a succubus. A Sherlock Holmes who needs him just as badly as he needs her. 

He fails miserably. 

\--

He is walking home from work when a black car pulls up besides him. The window rolls down. 

"Get in the car, Doctor Watson," a gorgeous brunette says. 

He does. 

\--

He is brought to a warehouse where a man with an umbrella says, "You're looking for my sister."

He is right. 

\--

John is almost asleep one night when a soft knock comes at his door. 

He groans as he wakes completely. It's probably a neighbor or something. 

He opens the door to see Sherlock Holmes, generally less succubus-looking, just as beautiful. 

She kisses him. 

\--

**APRIL 10TH 2010**

I have a new girlfriend. Her name is Sherlock. She's living with me now and we might start a consulting business of some sort. She never really tells me everything. 

But she's saved my life. Again. 

 

**COMMENTS**

Too cheesy. Work on that. 

**Sherlock Holmes**

Very nice, John. 

**Ella Thompson**

THOUGHT UR FLATMATE WAS A BLOKE NAMED SHERLOCK

**Harry Watson**

Different person, Harry. 

**John Watson**

Just as wonderful, though. 

**John Watson**

Shut up. 

**Sherlock Holmes**

??????

**Harry Watson**

THE END

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> visit http://whyshezza.tumblr.com for more sobbing and genderfluid detectives


End file.
